My Wife Ellen Just Cost Me a Fortune (And Nathan Aspinall Owes Her a Thank You Card)

By Lewis Barnett 24 June, 2025 5 mins read 52 Views

God, where do I even start with this one.

So I'm sitting here at 50 years old, ranked No5 in the world, four majors under my belt, just made it to the World Cup final with Gerwyn Price representing Wales this month. You'd think that would be enough to get me into the Premier League, right? Wrong. Two years running now, I've been overlooked. And I'm pretty sure I know exactly why - and it all comes down to one conversation with my wife Ellen that probably cost me thousands.

Play the Audio Version

The Song That Got Away

Here's the thing that's going to sound completely mental but I swear it's true. Back when I was picking my walk-on song, I had my heart set on Mr. Brightside. I mean, come on - that song gets everyone going mental in the best possible way. The crowd would've gone absolutely wild every single time.

But Ellen? She wasn't having it.

"No, I think something else. I don't think that would be good," she said. Just like that. Shot down my dreams faster than a 180 checkout.

So what happens next? Nathan Aspinall swoops in and takes MY song. The one I wanted first. And now look at him - everyone's going on about how his entrance is the best thing since sliced bread, crowds singing along like they're at a bloody Killers concert.

Nathan's Laughing All the Way to teh Bank

I actually told Nathan about this whole mess, you know. His response? He just laughs and goes, "Thank you, Ellen." Cheeky git.

But here's what really gets me - some players are saying that song helped get him picked for the Premier League. A SONG. Not his darts, not his ranking, but because 20,000 people belt out "Coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine" every time he walks on stage.

It's mental when you think about it.

Dave Chisnall Isn't Having Any of It

At least I'm not the only one who thinks the selection process has gone a bit sideways. Dave Chisnall came out swinging about this year's Premier League lineup, and honestly? Good on him.

"Nathan and Gerwyn can both feel a bit lucky in my opinion to be involved this year," he said. "His run to the quarter-finals of the Worlds probably got him involved, that and everyone loving his Mr Brightside theme song. It's a great entrance, but it should be about the darts, and not your walk-on that gets you involved in these big competitions."

Thank you, Dave. Finally someone said it.

Poor Mike De Decker became the first player in 20 years of Premier League history to win a major televised on Sky Sports and NOT get selected. That's just sickening, really. The man's out there posting about it on social media because what else can you do when the system seems completely backwards?

Ellen, This One's On You

Look, I love my wife to bits, but I'm never letting her live this down. Every time I watch Nathan walk out to MY song, with MY crowd reaction, probably earning MY Premier League spot... well, let's just say Ellen's getting reminded about her questionable musical advice from 2018 (or whenever that conversation happened - time's a blur when you're throwing tungsten for a living).

The Ferret might be ranked No5, but apparently that's not enough anymore. You need the right soundtrack too.

Next time I'm picking my own bloody song.

Frequently Asked Questions

What's the standard height for hanging a dartboard?

The standard height for a dartboard is 5 feet 8 inches (173 cm) from the floor to the bullseye. This measurement is official across professional darts organizations worldwide, including the PDC and BDO. It's designed to create a fair playing field for players of different heights.

How far should I stand from the dartboard?

The official throwing distance is 7 feet 9¼ inches (2.37 meters) measured from the face of the board to the oche (throwing line). In American darts, this distance is sometimes 8 feet, so check local rules if you're playing in the States.

What weight darts should beginners use?

For beginners, I generally recommend starting with medium-weight darts between 21-24 grams. This range offers enough heft to fly straight without requiring too much force, but isn't so heavy that it becomes tiring during longer practice sessions.

My darts keep bouncing out of the board. What am I doing wrong?

Bounce-outs are incredibly frustrating, but they're usually caused by one of a few common issues. First, check your dartboard—if it's old and dried out, even the best throws will struggle to stick. Quality sisal boards should last years, but cheaper paper-wound boards harden quickly. If you can press your thumbnail into the board and it doesn't leave a small indent, it's too hard.

Is it worth spending more money on expensive darts?

The question of dart investment really depends on your commitment level and budget. You don't need to spend a fortune, but there's definitely a quality threshold worth crossing.

I keep hitting 5s and 1s when aiming for 20s. How do I fix this?

This is probably the most common frustration in darts—those dreaded 5s and 1s when you're aiming for the 20 segment! The good news is that this specific problem usually stems from a few identifiable issues.

Statistics

Research shows that top professional dart players achieve accuracy rates of over 80% when aiming at treble 20.
The Professional Darts Corporation (PDC) World Championship has been held since 1994, with Phil Taylor winning a record 14 titles.
The distance from the throwing line (oche) to the dartboard is precisely 7 feet 9.25 inches (2.37 meters).
The highest possible score with three darts is 180, achieved by hitting three triple 20s.
Phil Taylor has hit a record 22 televised nine-dart finishes throughout his professional career.
A perfect leg of 501 can be completed in nine darts, known in the sport as a "nine-darter."
The standard height from the floor to the bullseye on a dartboard is 5 feet 8 inches (1.73 meters).
The dartboard wire system known as "razor wire" reduced bounce-outs by approximately 60% when introduced.

External Links

How To

Aiming Systems & Practice Routines

When I first started, I would just aim at whatever number I needed. But after watching some YouTube tutorials in 2018, I learned about the "clock" system. Imagine the board as a clock face. If you're aiming for the 20, but hit the 5, you're throwing too far to the right (clockwise). Adjust accordingly.