From Stamford Bridge to Sweet Dreams: How Kalou Went Full Willy Wonka

By Lewis Barnett 2 June, 2025 5 mins read 34 Views

Okay, so I'm scrolling through football news yesterday morning (coffee in hand, obviously), and I nearly choked when I saw this headline.

Salomon Kalou - yes, that Salomon Kalou who used to terrorize Premier League defenses - is now making chocolate. Not investing in chocolate companies or slapping his name on some fancy packaging. Actually making the stuff.

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Wait, What Now?

The 39-year-old former Chelsea winger has launched something called Oume (named after his birthplace in Ivory Coast), and honestly? I'm here for it. This is way more interesting than the usual "ex-footballer opens restaurant" story we get every other week.

Kalou told The Telegraph - and I'm paraphrasing because his quote was longer than a VAR review - that he grew up around his uncle's cocoa farm. Weekends meant helping out instead of playing video games like most kids. The kicker? He didn't even know what chocolate was back then.

"Growing up, I don't remember eating chocolate and didn't know what it was," he said. "It was expensive, more of a privilege for people who can afford to buy it."

The Irony Hits Different

Think about this for a second. Ivory Coast produces nearly half the world's cocoa, but the kids growing it can't afford to taste the final product. That's like... I don't know, working at a Ferrari factory but only being able to afford a bicycle.

Kalou gets it though. "People don't know that what they produce on their farms is used for chocolate," he explained. "But we contribute a big percentage of teh world's production. We also have great footballers."

Fair point, mate.

From Champions League Glory to Cocoa Beans

Remember that night in Munich back in 2012? Kalou started in Chelsea's Champions League final victory - their first European Cup triumph. 254 appearances for the Blues, countless memories at Stamford Bridge.

Now he's talking about hand-tempered truffles and getting his chocolate into Waitrose.

The man has dreams, I'll give him that. "One day I'd like to see Oume in Waitrose, Selfridges, or Harrods," he said. "That would be a proud moment."

Reality Check Time

But here's the thing - and Kalou knows this - the chocolate game is brutal right now. Cocoa prices are through the roof thanks to climate chaos and years of under-investment. It's not exactly the easiest time to launch a premium chocolate brand.

Still, you've got to admire the guy's ambition. Most retired footballers are content with punditry gigs or coaching badges. Kalou's out here trying to revolutionize how we think about African cocoa production.

Honestly? I hope he pulls it off. The football world could use more stories like this - players using their platform for something meaningful instead of just another cryptocurrency endorsement.

Plus, I'm genuinely curious how his chocolate tastes. Anyone know if he ships to the UK yet?

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Did you miss our previous article...
https://sportingexcitement.com/premier-league/my-completely-wrong-ballon-dor-predictions-and-why-im-probably-about-to-look-like-an-idiot