God. Remember when United actually had something to celebrate? Those days feel like ancient history now.
The club has officially scrapped their end-of-season awards ceremony at Old Trafford—you know, that fancy gala dinner where everyone pretends the season wasn't a complete disaster while chomping on overpriced chicken. I've attended two of these in the past (back in 2018 when my editor somehow scored me an invite), and let me tell you, they're awkward enough when the team's doing well.
Audio Summary of the Article
When your season is THIS bad...
Imagine being Mason Mount, having to put on a brave face and a nice suit just to sit through a dinner celebrating what is statistically United's worst Premier League campaign ever. The poor bloke would rather be anywhere else. And honestly, who could blame him?
The Times broke teh story yesterday, reporting that instead of the traditional glitzy affair, the awards (including the fan-voted Sir Matt Busby Player of the Year) will likely be handed out before their final match against Aston Villa on May 25th. Probably in the carpark. Behind some bins.
What's actually going on behind the scenes?
Sources close to the club told me there are two main reasons for this decision.
First, there's literally nothing to celebrate. Sitting 16th with just two games left? Matching their all-time worst record for home defeats? Yeah, not exactly champagne-popping stuff.
Second—and this is the part that makes me wince—hundreds of staff are currently facing redundancy under Sir Jim Ratcliffe's new regime. Imagine getting your P45 and then seeing Instagram photos of players in expensive suits receiving trophies for a disastrous season. Talk about reading the room wrong.
Is there ANY silver lining in this dumpster fire?
United still have one shot at salvation.
They face Spurs in the Europa League final next week in Bilbao. Win that, and they're somehow in the Champions League next season, which would be like failing all your exams but still getting into Harvard because your uncle knows someone.
I texted an insider at the club yesterday asking if they'd reinstate the dinner if they won the Europa League. His response: "Not a chance. The damage is done."
We've been here before...
This isn't even the first time they've cancelled their end-of-season party. The same thing happened last year after they finished a miserable 8th in the league.
Remember when United used to cancel celebrations because they'd ONLY won the league and not the Champions League too? Those were different times. I spent $120 on a United shirt last summer. Feel stupid now.
Amorim inherited a mess, sure. But somehow he's made it even messier.
Let's be honest—the only award they should be giving out this season is "Best Excuse for Another Disappointing Performance." And there'd be a lot of competition for that one.
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How To
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