I've seen some wild nights at the Theatre of Dreams over the years, but Thursday's Europa League madness against Lyon? That one's getting framed and hung on the wall next to '99.

Let me paint you the scene. United cruising at 2-0 up in the first half. Then the wheels come off. Completely. By extra time we're 4-2 down with thousands of "loyal" fans already halfway to their cars or the nearest pub to drown their sorrows. The exodus was embarrassing.

The Walk of Shame

Those poor souls. Imagine being one of teh people who decided "nah, we're done here" after Lacazette's penalty made it 4-2 in extra time. Then hearing the roar from outside. Then another. And ANOTHER.

Social media was flooded with videos of fans literally RUNNING back to the turnstiles. Too late, mate. Security wasn't letting anyone back in. Some poor blokes were watching through the gates like Victorian orphans peering through a bakery window.

And Joshua Zirkzee? Our injured Dutch striker wasn't having any of it.

When a Dutchman Throws Shade

Zirkzee might be sidelined with that nasty injury from the Newcastle game (which Amorim basically confirmed has ended his season), but the €36.5 million summer signing made his presence felt from the stands.

After witnessing the complete and utter bedlam that followed Maguire's winner, he took to Instagram with a video of the thunderous celebrations and added this deliciously blunt caption: "To all the fans who left when we were down. Have a listen to this."

Ouch.

From Funeral to Festival in 10 Minutes

I was there with my brother-in-law who, at 4-2 down, turned to me and said "we're witnessing the death of United's season." Twenty minutes later he was hoarse from screaming and had spilled beer down both our jackets.

Bruno's penalty gave us a flicker of hope. Then Mainoo (who turns 20 tomorrow - happy birthday, lad!) channeled his inner Zirkzee with that celebration after equalizing. But when Maguire - yes, HARRY MAGUIRE - nodded home the winner? Absolute pandemonium.

My brother-in-law's exact words: "I'm never doubting this club again." (He will, of course, probably next week.)

Records Shattered Like My Voice

The history books got a serious rewrite. First time ever five goals have been scored in extra time in a major European competition. First team to score twice in the 120th minute of a European match.

And Amorim? The man admitted he'd been watching the '99 documentary for inspiration. Talk about manifesting glory!

The Harsh Reality Check

Look, I'm still buzzing from Thursday night, but Amorim's post-match comments were sobering. He basically admitted we're toast in the league and need to focus entirely on Europa League glory.

"The reflection of the coach is the league... we are underperforming," he said, before explaining how physically we just can't hack it against Premier League opposition the way we can in Europe.

He even said we need to "take a risk with the kids in the Premier League" while focusing on Europa. Translation: eighth place is fine if we win a trophy.

After 25 years following United, I'm not even mad about it. Just win something, anything.

Basque Boys Next

So it's Athletic Bilbao in the semis, starting May 1st away and May 8th at home. We haven't beaten them since 1957. Yes, you read that right - 1957! Even Fergie couldn't crack them in 2012.

Before that, we've got Wolves on Sunday. They haven't done the double over us since 1979/80, but after their 2-0 win at Molineux earlier this season and their current unbeaten run... I'm nervous.

But after Thursday night? I'll never leave a United match early again. Not even if we're 10-0 down with 5 minutes left.

Some fans learned that lesson the hard way.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I ensure the proper fit for my football boots?

In order to get the right fit, the football boot should be snug without being too tight. This allows for a little movement and prevents the foot from sliding into the boot. There should be about a thumb's width of space between the toes and the front of the boot to avoid cramming the toes when running or kicking. The width of the foot is also important. Choose a boot with a wide or narrow fit. Try on your boots with socks, and make sure they are fully laced.

Is it necessary to wear football-specific clothing, or can I wear any athletic gear?

The clothing for football is different from other athletic wear. This is because it is specifically designed to enhance comfort and performance on the field. Jerseys, shorts, and other clothing are often made of lightweight and breathable materials to allow optimal airflow. This reduces overheating, sweat, and heat. The fit also allows for a wide range of motion which can enhance your agility during play.

Why are shinguards compulsory for footballers?

Shin guards should be a part of every footballer's equipment as they protect the lower legs from injury when tackles or collisions occur. They protect the shins by preventing severe injuries like fractures and severe bruising. Football's governing bodies require players to wear shinguards as a way to promote safety.

What kind of goalkeeper gloves provides the best grip and protection?

Goalkeeper gloves that have a latex-coated palm provide the best grip for different playing conditions. Latex thickness and density can be adjusted to balance durability and grip. Gloves featuring finger protection systems such as spines, stiffening or other materials can help to prevent hyperextension injuries. The gloves should fit comfortably and allow the goalkeepers perform at their peak.

What are the basic pieces of equipment required for playing football?

The basic equipment required for playing football includes a jersey or shirt, shorts, stockings, shin guards, and cleats or football boots. Goalkeepers need additional gear like padded clothing and specialized gloves to protect them while diving and jumping. For safety reasons and to ensure that the rules are followed, it is important for players to dress appropriately.

Statistics

• Over 90% of professional football players wear boots with synthetic uppers for better performance and durability.
• Data shows that thermo-bonded footballs, known for their consistent performance, are preferred by 65% of professional football clubs for matches.
• Approximately 40% of amateur football players wear boots that are not properly fitted, increasing the risk of foot injuries.
• Studies show that the proper use of shin guards can reduce the risk of injuries in football players by up to 70%.
• Research has indicated that around 60% of football-related ankle injuries could be mitigated with the correct choice of footwear.

External Links

prodirectsoccer.com

• Pro:Direct Soccer

fifa.com

• FIFA's Laws of the Game

soccer.com

• SOCCER.COM's Shin Guard Guide

uksoccershop.com

• UKSoccerShop

puma.com

• PUMA Football equipment

How To

How to Choose the Right Size for Football Cleats

It is important to find football cleats with a good fit in order to maximize performance and ensure comfort. For a cleat to be the right size, it should allow about a quarter-inch between your longest finger and the end. They should fit snugly on the midfoot and have little or no movement at the heels. The upper portion of the cleats must be snug to ensure a secure feeling, but still flexible enough to accommodate natural foot movements. Try on the cleats using the socks that you will wear during matches. This way, you can get a good feel for how they fit.